Me

One Mom’s Thoughts in an Isolated World

photo-1505929184174-3cd3716bd799I’m just a regular mom. I don’t have any formal insight into any of this. I’m not looking to debate or cause issues. I’m just sharing from the heart in case someone else’s heart can relate.

I’m talking about this pandemic that’s taking over our daily life. Coronavirus. COVID-19. Our thoughts, actions, conversations, all suddenly hijacked by a virus sweeping through countries like a destructive wind.

We’ve only just entered a state of social distancing. Everyday I read articles, memes about toilet paper (sometimes I even chuckle, afterall laughter is critical in a time like this) posts, comments, and texts with friends. While everyone shows it a little differently, I think there’s a general consistency.

Fear.

I’m concerned. I can’t imagine what tomorrow or two weeks from now will look like. I don’t know how to stock up for “indefinite”. I see empty shelves at the store and can’t help but wonder if they’ll eventually stay that way. I have this embedded need to ensure my family is fed and healthy. When something beyond my control interferes with that, it’s unsettling.

I’m scared. I’m scared it will sweep through my town. It hasn’t yet, but that could change by morning. Schools, churches, sporting events, concerts are all shut down. It’s all just surreal. It’s a road we’ve never traveled before and none of us know where it leads.

I’m sad. My mind mainly focused on the children who anticipate walking through the classroom door to be met with smiles and warmth and care and food. That consistency now suddenly pulled from their life. Also, the elderly in nursing homes now without visitors or unable to leave their home. It’s all heartbreaking. While I fully understand the closings, I can’t help but think of these things constantly.

I’m disappointed. I see the empty shelves at stores and know there are homes filled with more supplies than they’ll ever need. I see many scoffing at so many places closing or placing blame. The seriousness of it all escaping their thoughts. 

Witnessing what other countries are enduring and knowing it’s a real possibility this distancing can spare lives and spare a huge influx in hospitals, that’s enough for me to do whatever I can to slow the spread, no matter the inconvenience.

I’m feeling all these things, but you know what? I’m feeling other things too.

I’m hopeful. I will continue to have hope that this will end. While I know, sadly, many deaths will come first. I will maintain hope for a medication to be developed. Hope for more information to be discovered and allow it to be more easily contained. Maybe not today. Maybe not even this year. I’m still hopeful.

I’m thankful. I’m thankful for enough food, for now. I’m thankful for our leaders working to keep it contained as much as possible. I’m thankful for everyone who is taking the recommendations seriously and practicing social distancing. I’m thankful for schools providing educational materials and support. I’m thankful for communities working together to help those in need.

I’m ready. I’m ready to step up and go full-on mama bear mode. I’m ready to cook all the meals (minus the occasional touch-free delivery to support local business!) I’m ready to teach and entertain my kids as long as needed and I’m thankful for that opportunity.

I’m ready to use this time to slow down and love on my family. I’m ready to stay in communication with friends and family through this and help lift spirits. I’m ready to figure out this new normal and make the best of it.

I’m praying. I’m praying daily about this. I hope you are too. I’m praying for the doctors and nurses. I’m praying for everyone currently fighting the virus, everyone awaiting tests and everyone mourning loved ones. I’m praying for the small businesses taking a hit. I’m praying for strength for the mamas working and finding childcare and also temporarily homeschooling. I’m praying we all keep in mind our children are watching and learning from our words and actions during this time. I’m praying our country can come together instead of further divide. I’m praying this situation might lead to many finding and accepting Christ.

In all, it’s a lot of unknown. There’s not exactly a rulebook to go on here! I think we’re all just in a situation unlike anything we’ve gone through before. I also think knowing that, it provides a commonality we can all use to treat each other with a little more kindness and understanding and make this time a little easier for everyone.

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