Me, Mommy

Fall Thoughts

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Fall thoughts? Thoughts about Fall? Thoughts I currently have and it happens to be Fall? Whatever it is… here it goes.

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Burrito Mode
I’m so excited for a break from the record heat. I can finally breathe. I can actually exit my house without instasweat. My toes are wiggling with joy. That said, burrito mode is now in full effect. It begins the moment my kids are asleep.

I situate myself on a cozy blanket and roll into a burrito cocoon. I then remain in such state until it’s time to bobble to bed, still wrapped, of course. Once in this mode, anything that requires a limb or part below the neck to emerge is just not happening. I’ll binge 45 episodes before releasing a hand to change the channel.

Don’t judge, you know you do it too.

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Pumpkin Spice Stuff
I jumped on the PS bandwagon several years ago. I was the typical Fall Mom sporting a pumpkin spice latte through Target thinking I was cooler than a cucumber on a Narwhal belly. It was great. It was Fall in my mouth. It set off the entire season. It submerged my whole life into…actually, it was just ok but I wouldn’t dare admit that. Everyone was brainwashed, probably with pumpkin spice foaming soap.

Then, it exploded.

Marketers discovered this flavor frenzy and went full-on pumpkin madness. It started showing up in cereal, donuts, marshmallows, cookies, pretzels, yogurt, ice cream…dog treats. I mean, it went too far. Obviously I still tried them all.. minus the dog treats, although most of them came close to tasting like canine cuisine.

Just stop already.

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Clothes Questions
If you’ve been with me for a while, you know I’m somewhat fashion-challenged. It just doesn’t interest me enough to care. For the last few years I’ve actually started noticing what other people were wearing. Let me just say the whole thing makes my brain flop sideways and slither in circles.

Like, do I roll my pants up once or twice? Should I get skinny or bootcut? Should this vest be opened or closed? Why is everyone suddenly only wearing cheetah print? Or is it Leopard? Can I wear this dress with leggings? Are my pants unzipped? Does anyone really use those dangly hanger loops that flop out of the shirt all day or immediately cut them off and hope for the best? I’m on team 2 for that one.

Hoodie and jeans it is. I’m exhausted.

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Horror Shopping
The scariest thing I remember from my childhood is cute ghosts made from tissue paper and those terrifying plastic strawberry shortcake masks. That’s it.

Now?

Now we go to the grocery and find goblin creatures emerging from toilets and making crude potty humor jokes. We are handed free nightmares in aisle 3 at Lowe’s because of the 89 foot zombie skeleton lurching at us as we innocently look for decorative pumpkins and mums.

My kids can’t look away because it’s fascinating and wrong. Then later that night while attempting to sleep, they’re 100% sure the chair in their room is actually a rabid werewolf with red eyes. Just last week I knocked out a child-sized green witch that cackled at me as I passed by… and I’d do it again.

I say Halloween stores, go all out. Let real tarantulas crawl on your patrons as they fill their eyeballs with disturbing displays. Let me search for apples and hay bales with my kids without also bringing home 20 questions and 2 a.m. shrieking.

Thank you.

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Breathtaking Beauty
The way the sun filters into the house in the morning. The crisp breeze rustling the crunchy leaves. The colors, the smells the tastes. All the things that just make us feel Fall. It’s a welcome hug into the new season. If you haven’t taken the time to breathe it in and enjoy it yet… then what are you waiting for?!

1 thought on “Fall Thoughts”

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