My child prayed for my legs. He was almost 3 and was so concerned about them being exposed to sunlight that he actually prayed about it. If that doesn’t scream, I never bare my legs, I don’t know what does. He was curious why I was going in the backyard to play in my underwear. They were shorts, but in his short little life he’d never seen mommy wear them. In his innocent mind, my legs were going to sizzle up and cook like bacon the second sunlight hit them.
I went out that very week and bought more shorts. In a few years I didn’t want my child(ren) realizing I was ashamed or embarrassed about any part of my body. I’ve felt that feeling way too long and I don’t want them to ever know that world. They need to see mommy confident and loving her body, no matter where I am in my weight or fitness goals.
I admit it took me a few more summers after the leg prayer to fully get on board with wearing certain things…or wearing them comfortably. I still struggle at times, but mamas…I’m finally done.
Done with being worried over something as silly as how I might look in a skirt. Done with thinking about what parts are jiggling. Done with being too hot because I’m trying to cover things up with clothes.
For what? For who?
My weight has yo-yoed through the years. Like a lot. Sometimes it was due to eating habits or lack of exercise. Sometimes it was full-body Michelin man swelling from rough pregnancies, and sometimes…like now…it’s due to medications… but that’s another blog for another day. Sigh…
Anyway I’m done. Have I mentioned that yet? This year, despite not being anywhere near my ideal physique… guess what? I’m going to love my body. Yes, love it. Not look away while passing mirrors, not cringe when I see unflattering pictures, not hide, not be afraid.
I’m ready to whip that swim suit cover off and walk proudly. I’m ready to get in the pool and play, not hide behind a magazine. I’m ready to walk the beach and find shells and chase seagulls- without worry. I’m ready to jump in the waves and help build sandcastles and fly kites. I’m ready to wear the clothes that once gave me anxiety… and feel good in them.
I know I’ve been created by a master artist. I was made to be me, like no other. The me that was stretched to the limit and beyond growing babies. The me that has been adamant about health and fitness. The me that’s also been too overwhelmed, too overworked, too underslept to let “me” be a priority. The me that loves hard, cares deep and desires the best for others. The me that is a wife, mother, daughter, friend and lover of all things turquoise.
We’re all unique, we’re all beautiful and we’re all living this life. Let’s live it without fear. Let’s live it feeling proud, being happy, and loving each other. Let’s live beyond the flaws, above appearances and look deeper at one another…because deeper, below the surface, we’re all a lot more alike than we really know.
If you are not looking forward to summer because of an extra jiggle in your wiggle, or if your strut is lead with a gut. Just be done. If you dread the days full of sun because you’ve got extra dough in your buns, or if skirts make you sigh due to no space between your thighs. Just be done. If you’re afraid to clap because you arms continue to flap, or if extra rolls keep you from wearing those cute clothes. Just be done.
Be done worrying about the silly things we all worry about and be ready. Be ready to love you, a masterpiece, and just go have fun this summer!