My husband wrote a letter to me. About me. First let me say, I got his approval to share this. Trust me, I know how scary it can be to share written thoughts. I have a pep talk with myself each time I share a blog post. It’s like freeing little thought butterflies. You think they’re beautiful and special, but once they fly away it’s impossible to know if others with notice their beauty or shoo them away with annoyance.
I’ll try to keep the back story short, but you know how I ramble, so no promises.
We were about 10 miles down the road on a little last-minute overnight trip with the kids. I finally had a minute to check email. There it was, an email from him titled My Blog. My interest peaked and tears streamed down my face as I read it. I smiled and laughed and felt so much joy. To see he actually felt this way and spent time writing his thoughts, knowing how much I love that, it just made my heart burst.
He tells me he appreciates me and I know he does. I know the kids do too. We all just get busy with life sometimes and don’t remember to tell the other person how much they mean to us as often as we could. I’m guilty of it too. That’s why his words were so nice to find as we began our little trip.
Without further rambles, here’s what you came here for, my husband’s letter to me…
So, if I were to be talented and secure enough to write a personal blog post it would go something like this:
I was on my way to bed tonight after binge watching whatever Netflix show was on and out of the corner of my eye I spotted something magical. Not like a leprechaun riding a unicorn…something more amazing.
I spotted pure, unadulterated love. It’s always been there night after night, but for some reason this was the night I found it. A spotless house!
It’s not the fact the house was clean, it’s the reason it was clean. After a marathon day of activities with the kids, packing for a vacation for a family of four, cleaning the car out, doing multiple loads of laundry/dishes and exercising, somehow my wife still finds a way to clean the house. My big accomplishment you ask? I managed to take care of dinner (also read as ordered Chinese food) and play with the kids.
My wife does these many things every single day, from sunup to sundown. I have never told or commanded her to do these things, she does them out of love. She wants her family to know they are cared for, to know they are loved. We often take these things for granted or make light-hearted jokes about the “t-shirt fairy” visiting. No magic got the t-shirt from the hamper to the washing machine and folded neatly into the drawer. It was hard work and multitasking that made it happen. When I was a bachelor it would’ve been a miracle if a shirt made it from the dryer to a drawer.
It’s not just house work though that often goes unappreciated, it’s dealing with bills and doctors appointments, the sociopaths in the car rider line (you know who you are), the people of [any retailer] (they’re all special in their own way) fixing lunches and dinners and getting everyone where they need to be and many other tasks I’m likely leaving out. These are things I’m simply not cut out to do.
Don’t get me wrong this isn’t her life’s calling, she was all kinds of professional awesomeness before becoming a SAHM. Being a SAHM is something her and I both wanted, we knew it would be hard financially, emotionally and physically. We knew there would be unanticipated sacrifices along the way.
I think sometimes she looks at it as I enabled her to stay at home…very much not true. She has made many sacrifices to allow me to essentially become who I am today, way before we had kids. She ultimately enabled herself to create an empire, she is the humble CEO and visionary. I am more of a silent partner that provides technical advice when needed.
So for all of you that may have not found this magic yet, on the way to bed tonight, turn around and take a hard look hopefully you’ll see it too.
If you have a SAH partner, tell them immediately how much you love them and how they have allowed you to be the best version of yourself and that you appreciate the sacrifices they have made along the way. Face it, you likely couldn’t have done it alone and you may not actually be able to perform their magic.