Ok, here’s the thing. I got stuck in a dressing room. Not my finest moment, but because I promised to share real-life moments, I won’t keep this little gem to myself.
Yesterday was the first day of spring. It was warm and sunny and beautiful. Birds were singing, trees were blooming. I was sneezing like a naked mole rat in a pepper factory. It was definitely spring.
I also became suddenly and frantically aware that I will soon need to shed my beloved long sleeves and pants for tanks and shorts. It’s that time each year I take for myself to prepare for the upcoming grand clothing peel. Sometimes this moment takes on the form of rapid shallow breathing and sweats. I try to remain hidden for such rituals.
What’s the best way to prepare for warmer weather? With an annoying clothes shopping trip, of course. After getting the oil changed, another favorite pastime of mine, I reluctantly steered my mom van towards the store. As I was getting out, I realized I was still buckled in. Looking back, that was my foreshadowing of events to come.
I quickly found several tops and skirts and went to try them on. The immense joy I felt was relatable to getting a bee sting in my ear. I like to imagine they actually install those fun carnival mirrors in the dressing rooms and what I’m witnessing is actually distorted for humor purposes and not a true reflection.
It helps me cope.
After finding a few successful outfits, I got a little excited and felt unstoppable. I should have stopped there. I had a ruffle sleeve shirt left to try on. It was my favorite and I couldn’t wait to see if it fit. As it went on, I noticed the sleeves were a tad tight, but I kept going. It looked great, minus the arm snugness. No big deal, I’ll just bump up a size. I’m not a size snob.
Then it happened.
I couldn’t get my favorite ruffle shirt off. I attempted so many times and contorted myself into so many strange positions I worked up a sweat. I even bent over and tried multiple times to flip the tag over and look in the mirror at the price in case I had to rip it off. I was to that point.
What else could I do? I was alone, except for my small kid, who sat silent for the first time in her life, watching in awe as mommy huffed and danced around. I put on a great show with the Buffalo Shuffle, Hokey Pokey and Cha Cha as the grand finale. I hope these images made it to her delete pile as she slept.
Right before panic set it, I got the giggles. Like, full on tears, can’t breathe laughter. Then I had to sit down as to not pee myself…kids do magnificent things to us, don’t they? That created further giggling, it was a whole cycle. I finally gained partial composure and made one final lift/shimmy/ pull and…voila! It came off. The relief was up there with the moment childbirth was over.
Just so you know, I bought that ruffle shirt (a size larger, obviously) and I’ll think of this incident and smile each time I wear it.
Now…let’s get out there, peel off our layers and be happy to enjoy another beautiful spring season!