Me

The Day I Got Stuck in a Dressing Room

Ok, here’s the thing. I got stuck in a dressing room. Not my finest moment, but because I promised to share real-life moments, I won’t keep this little gem to myself.


Yesterday was the first day of spring. It was warm and sunny and beautiful. Birds were singing, trees were blooming. I was sneezing like a naked mole rat in a pepper factory. It was definitely spring.

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I also became suddenly and frantically aware that I will soon need to shed my beloved long sleeves and pants for tanks and shorts. It’s that time each year I take for myself to prepare for the upcoming grand clothing peel. Sometimes this moment takes on the form of rapid shallow breathing and sweats. I try to remain hidden for such rituals.

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What’s the best way to prepare for warmer weather? With an annoying clothes shopping trip, of course. After getting the oil changed, another favorite pastime of mine, I reluctantly steered my mom van towards the store. As I was getting out, I realized I was still buckled in. Looking back, that was my foreshadowing of events to come.  

I quickly found several tops and skirts and went to try them on. The immense joy I felt was relatable to getting a bee sting in my ear. I like to imagine they actually install those fun carnival mirrors in the dressing rooms and what I’m witnessing is actually distorted for humor purposes and not a true reflection.

It helps me cope.

After finding a few successful outfits, I got a little excited and felt unstoppable. I should have stopped there. I had a ruffle sleeve shirt left to try on. It was my favorite and I couldn’t wait to see if it fit. As it went on, I noticed the sleeves were a tad tight, but I kept going. It looked great, minus the arm snugness. No big deal, I’ll just bump up a size. I’m not a size snob.

Then it happened.

I couldn’t get my favorite ruffle shirt off. I attempted so many times and contorted myself into so many strange positions I worked up a sweat. I even bent over and tried multiple times to flip the tag over and look in the mirror at the price in case I had to rip it off. I was to that point.

What else could I do? I was alone, except for my small kid, who sat silent for the first time in her life, watching in awe as mommy huffed and danced around. I put on a great show with the Buffalo Shuffle, Hokey Pokey and Cha Cha as the grand finale.  I hope these images made it to her delete pile as she slept.

Right before panic set it, I got the giggles. Like, full on tears, can’t breathe laughter. Then I had to sit down as to not pee myself…kids do magnificent things to us, don’t they? That created further giggling, it was a whole cycle. I finally gained partial composure and made one final lift/shimmy/ pull and…voila! It came off. The relief was up there with the moment childbirth was over.

Just so you know, I bought that ruffle shirt (a size larger, obviously) and I’ll think of this incident and smile each time I wear it.

Now…let’s get out there, peel off our layers and be happy to enjoy another beautiful spring season!

 

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