Have you ever wondered what happens inside another mom’s brain? Like, you’ve considered calling up Miss. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus and asking her to shrink down her little bus and drive right in into another mom’s thought process? Yes? You understand and relate to at least half of what I just said?
Then let’s take a little ride, shall we?
Buckle up, because I’m taking you on an exclusive peek into my mind. I’ll limit it to just a random morning. Obviously I can’t possibly include every single thought. I have thought cubbies where thoughts pop into other thoughts without even raising their hand first. Then another pops in, they never learned manners. It’s craziness. I feel sorry for my brain sometimes. Plus, if I shared them all this post would be a million words and who has time for that? I’ll just thought summarize. You’re welcome.
Hang on, It might get bumpy, it’s definitely scary, you might laugh a little, or possibly cry and you will regret it at least twice… but you’re also curious.
Ok, here we go.
The alarm just went off…
What day is it? You have to get up and shower today. Great. Are the kids ok? They’re fine. What day is it? Remember to work on being more cheerful in the morning. Blah…Snooze button…
Alarm again…How many times have I hit that? Must get up. Listen to that snap, crackle, pop. Getting old. You didn’t get up to pee last night. You go girl! What will I wear? Hate it all. Oh my word, I’m so ungrateful. Still…I really need to shop. Can I go Wednesday? Probably not. This shirt covers all the… stuff. Good enough. (Pause for 3 minutes of blank mind/ staring at the floor from toilet.)
Ok, gotta get going. Scale or no scale? Why not? Crap. It’s going the wrong way. Stupid scale. Need to run. Like 50 miles. She’s awake. She’s already asking to watch a show. Is that bad? I need a shower. Just say yes to the show. We’ll cut down on TV… tomorrow. She’ll be ok. Right?
Love this new soap. It smells so soapy. Why can’t I still smell soapy by dinner time? Is that too much shampoo? The shower needs cleaning. Bad. Why can I only think of that when I’m in the shower? Should I cover up more around the kids? They should know all bodies are beautiful, but is witnessing this going to damage them? It would damage me (silent snort laugh). No time for lotion… again, running behind…again. Oh well, jeans will cover the dry skin….and the furry legs. Add razor to the list.
Need to start boiling eggs. Almost out of face lotion. Remember to get some. Like that will happen. He’s bouncing off the walls. It’s too early. Wish I had that energy. Start coffee. What time is it? What day is it? Eggs on. Need coffee. Gotta dry my hair. It always takes forever. Wish I could pull off super short hair.
(Brain randomly sings while I dry hair…) Baby shark…do do…baby shark… I’m too sexy for my hair dryer… man, I’m so funny… lately I’ve been, I’ve been thinking…I want you to be happier….dive bar on the east side where you at?…. oooh check the eggs!
Kitchen is a disaster. Why do some eggs never peel right? Coffee. Yes. Yes. Yes. Is it library book day? What’s for lunch? Nice. He won’t eat that. Add packing lunch to the list. You got this. Why don’t I check this stuff at night? I’ll clean that later. Is this a healthy lunch? Is that too much sugar? Is that enough veggies? Will he be full?
Is that 6 times I’ve said put on shoes? Drink your milk was at least 4 times. I feel like a nag. They don’t listen. Am I failing? No, it’s just shoes. Right? Mornings are so rushed. They look so cute. They’re getting too big. No tears. Fight it. Quick, think of something funny. Nothing? Really? Ok, I’m good. Cry later. School should really start at 10. Remember to feed the fish. Gotta go. Backpacks, purse, keys. Door locked, check again… and we made it.
What day is it again?