These are my 9 things. I’ve got many more, but you’re only getting 9. Confessions? Secrets? I don’t know, but this is hard to do, so no judging please. Yes, maybe I’ll exaggerate a point or two for effect. Hopefully at least one or two will speak to someone else.
1. I first saw it on a television show and added it to my bucket list. I finally tried it. I’d always thought it was gross and unsanitary, but it turned out to be amazing. A bit messy, but nothing a napkin couldn’t handle. I ate ice cream straight from the container and I felt like a true rebel.
2. I often feel judged by other moms. Maybe it’s just my own interpretation, but I sometimes feel excluded and wonder why they don’t like me. Am I too quiet? Too nice? Is it because I don’t gossip? It’s it because I chose certain things for my kids? Do I look funny? Will I ever fit in? It’s not a fun place to live.
3. I watch The Bachelor. I think it’s the worst show ever made, but every Monday without fail I make popcorn and watch. It’s a disgusting habit I cannot seem to break. I’ve even caught myself smiling at the television. Like a dreamy, fairytale smile. I’m convinced the producers cast a hypnotic spell on the viewers around season 11.
4. I’m a hermit. I love being at home. I would much rather stay home than go anywhere with a large crowd. Sports events, concerts, big sales, amusement parks. Any type of large gathering makes my skin prickle and I get the overwhelming urge to run. At home with a sprinkle of pajamas, that’s my jam.
5. I wanted to be a teacher, but there’s that whole public speaking thing. I’ve always loved children and really enjoy working with them. One on one. Or, even a few at a time. Having an entire class looking up to me as I speak each day would make my hair fall out. Add in other teachers or parents to the room and I’d be corner bound, fetal position posed and in need of a tissue.
6. Vomit has zero effect on me. It might as well be cotton candy or ravioli. I can wipe up puke in an instant and go about my day. I can inspect the contents as if I’m searching for ChapStick in my bottomless pit of a purse. If there’s not a vessel nearby to catch it, my hands are instantly transformed into a puke pouch. I know many of you can’t even read this without gagging. I’ve seen my husband turn 3 shades of green watching me on puke duty. I’m kinda proud of this super power.
7. I have two drastically different looking thumbs. Yes, thumbs. One is long and elegant, like a swan princess ballerina. The other is short and stubby, like Dopey from the 7 dwarfs. I love them both the same. It was fun years ago when I got fake nails put on. The technician got to Dopey and after a slight gasp, she had to dig through a special drawer to find a nail that would fit. It was awesome.
8. I love the sun, but I don’t love summer. I wasn’t made for heat. I just wasn’t. My body reacts to heat with this thing called sweat. Apparently most other girls have a different way to stay cool because they don’t go around all day looking like a wet alpaca emerging from the Royal Flush water ride. It’s not the greatest look. That, combined with the fact that my body also wasn’t made for shorts or dresses or tank tops, well… summer just isn’t for me.
9. I love to cook. I’ve often dreamed of becoming a chef. I just hate the planning, shopping, prepping, fixing and plating part. What do you know? I just love eating. Learn something new about yourself every day!
10. Didn’t you read the title? There’s only 9. Just can’t get enough, can you? It’s cool.
Have a great day!