Me, Mommy

I Can’t Keep Up

It’s the last day of another year gone by. How can I let it pass without reflecting on this year? As I sat down to think, certain experiences or moments didn’t immediately come to mind as I intended. Instead I kept hearing the words, please slow down.


My husband and I did quite a bit of hiking early on in our relationship. It was something we both enjoyed doing together and we hit many trails. I struggled with certain terrains at times, especially steep areas. I often needed to holler out, please slow down, I can’t keep up!

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Of course he’d wait or help me through the hard parts, never once being upset that I needed to slow our pace. Other times one of us would suggest we stop to take in all the beauty around us. It was all just so much, it was hard to absorb everything.

Looking back at this past year, and several before it, I keep going back to those moments on the trail. I needed to just slow down. I needed to catch my breath and sit on a rock to look up and see the sun piercing through the leaves or smell the earthy scent of nature. To stop rushing through the journey and  just be.  

Lately each day seems to end faster than the last. Some days I struggled with certain decisions or felt like I wasn’t the best mom or wife. I often would holler out, God please help me! Of course he’d always be there, bringing peace and clarity through those times. Never once giving up on me.

Each day I look at my children’s faces. I notice how much they’ve changed, how much they’ve grown. I think of the simple fun we had running through sprinklers, eating popsicles in the grass, baking cookies, building a snowman, snuggling on a lazy Saturday. The trips we took to the beach and museums and parks.

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I know they’ll have great memories. I know some won’t be so great, but I also know those are our learning days. We’re all just trying to figure this out as we go.

As I continue to reflect, I want to scream out, please slow down, I can’t keep up! You’re growing too fast. It’s all going so fast. Let me sit here on the bed and look at how the light gently kisses your face as you drift off to sleep. Let me hug you just a little tighter. Let’s read another book and spend the whole day giggling.

I know one year from today I’ll be reflecting once more. We’ll all be another year older and have more memories to hold. I just hope this new year will slow down, just a little, so I can keep up.

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2 thoughts on “I Can’t Keep Up”

  1. I remember many years ago looking at Christy as we were jumping on the couch. Yes we jumped on the couch! I looked in her face and Thought my how she’s changed. I pulled out the camera and took pictures of her sweet face with her plastic pop beads around her neck so I could remember that very moment. I still say SLOW DOWN. Now I’ve had the opportunity to jump on the couch with grandchildren. I have been so blessed. I love your writing.

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