When birthdays rolled around (many birthdays ago) I felt excited. I didn’t really think about it until the day of, maybe the day before. As a child I didn’t have the mindset to look ahead very far on the calendar.
My parents always made my birthday extra special. Every single year I woke up to little decorations around the house. They made special cakes for me. I always felt like a princess and I’ll always love those special memories.
As the years went on I anticipated milestones. Turning 16, I could drive. Turning 18, I was considered an adult. Then came 25. It was a “big” one, but not met with as much enthusiasm. I also graduated college that year, which was more exciting.
When the big 3-0 hit, I actually bought a shirt that said, The Princess is 30, and wore a tiara with 30 on it. At least I can say I got the whole midlife crisis thing over with early. You know what? No. I loved that shirt and tiara. No apologies for it. As the 30s clicked on, each year seemed to go by so quickly.
I got married and started having babies. Those years are a fuzzy blur. A moment of time that almost skipped by. I didn’t notice time, yet it was all I noticed. Once that fog lifted, four years had gone by and I was left to wonder where I’d been.
With another birthday looming at me each morning on the refrigerator calendar, I’m left to reflect yet again. I want to feel sad. I want to throw myself down and be a toddler, kicking my feet and screaming, “but I don’t wanna be another year older!” Don’t worry, I won’t do that, or maybe I will.
Honestly, I’m not really sure what I will do. I have no insightful thoughts. I have no action plan. It’s like those spinning chairs on the playground. The more I move or protest, the faster it spins. I guess I’ll just sit perfectly still for a while and reflect. Reflect and be thankful for another year. Maybe time will slow down and sit with me. Even for just a bit.
Then I’ll dig that awesome tiara out of the box and change that “0” to the new number, or keep it 30. I will place it upon my wise head and I will wear it proudly.
…and eat cake.
Happy birthday to everyone celebrating another wonderful year!