Me, Mommy

Shy School Mom

I have been so occupied with doing fun things before school starts, trying not to cry every single minute, and preparing my child for every possible school-related scenario. In all this prepping for our whole life to change, I forgot one big thing. I’m about to be a “school mom.” I’ll give you a moment to stop cringing. I had to take several.

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You may be thinking, what’s the big deal with that? I’ll tell you, everything is the big deal with that.

It makes me nauseous to even have to spend time writing about or worrying with this. I’ve been lucky to avoid it for so long. I have my small group of genuine, dependable girls who love me just as I am and I’m terrified to venture out from that.

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They don’t care if I ate too many donuts last week. They don’t care if I only shop at Kohl’s, with coupons. They don’t care if they stick to my floors or find pee in my toilet. They don’t mind that I am THE helicopter mom. They still talk to me even when I don’t make sense, or sometimes forget to ask them about their day or if I cry over my child pooping in a potty. They love me anyway. They pray with me, cry with me, laugh with me and at me. It’s great. The drama is nowhere to be found.

It’s been so nice to be surrounded by that. Will all the moms be this way? To me, it seems things have turned into a kid-competing, fashion-challenging, mom-shaming way of life. I know I’ll need to be friends with several of the moms. I’m hoping my kid will make friends with other kids, which means I have to talk to the other moms and do parties and other fun stuff, which means us moms will need to be friends too.

The thing is, I’m really terrible at making new friends.

I feel like there will be some other school moms who are like me, reluctant to be outgoing. That’s also hard because we’re both standing in the corner picking our cuticle, waiting for someone to talk to us. That won’t get us very far in the friend making journey.

I’m hoping to be surprised. Maybe, just maybe, the entire thing has changed since I’ve been in my own little bubble these last few years.

Just in case, I’m passing out flyers for the first week of school:

Hi! I’m a new school mom. It’s my first time. I don’t even know where to drop off my kid at school yet. I have no clue how to do the school mom thing. I hope we can still be friends. I’m really going to need a few friends to get me through this. If you’ve been down this road before, I really want to look up to you and seek your wisdom. Please don’t disappoint me by walking away when I gather up the courage to say hi.

I’m not asking for a nightly or even weekly commitment here. We all have busy lives. I’m just asking that we all simply talk to each other occasionally and be nice.

If you see me, or another mom like me, standing off to the side looking terrified, please approach us. While it may be so easy for you, some of us moms need that little extra nudge. I know you probably want to roll your eyes at that, but while we may have different conversation starting abilities, I guarantee we will both go home and cry about how big our babies are getting.

If you’re new like me, we’re in this situation together. I’m sure we have similar emotions going on and maybe a few things in common, you know, like our kids. Can we just forget any nonsense and be friends?

If you can, please come to my house on Friday. We’ll all have coffee and I’ll take you on a grand tour. We’ll trek through Dust Bunny Village, voyage along the Leaning Tower of Sink Dishes, explore the Unopened Mail Stack of Horror and discover the great Under Couch Toy Museum. Finally, we’ll stop for a break to talk and laugh and cry at the reality of it all. 

Let’s just power through this season together. I promise to love you for you. Can you please do the same for me?

I’m sure this will instantly put me at the lunch table by myself all over again, craning my neck to see if there’s anyone who might sit with me. It’s ok though,  I’m taking one for the team, because someone needs to say it.

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